Thursday, February 26, 2009

bye bye savings account...

They are taking more money from us. I just found out that on 3/10 1000 more dollars is needed to continue. F**K S**t F**K, haven't you taken enough and you know I'll do anything to get a baby. But we have to make sure there is no scar tissue in my uterus that could cause and future miscarriages and no this procedure is not included in the shared-risk program!

I did call and complain that 1.5weeks isn't a very nice notice to come up with $1000 and do i really need to have this procedure done. Dr F as nice as he is called me back and explained that yes in order to continue it needs to be done and he would work out a payment plan and not to worry. Technically we could just put the money done on this but I'm not sure I want to give them the satisfaction of one lump sum and plus just when we are re-establishing out savings I have to deplete it again.

Once again I have to ask why i was chosen to have to fight this battle!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Waiting again...

To those that know me in real life, Luke and I would like to keep it a secret when we start trying to conceive again. We ask that those of you who are reading this please keep the contents of my blog a secret. I thought about giving up the blog or setting the blog to private but i know there are many people out there reading this that are going through the same thing I am and I don't want them not to be able to view this. I also don't want to give up the blog because it helps to journal what I'm going through! Thanks so much!

So I gotta my beta results and I'm finally at 0, yay! right? No...she proceeds to tell me that the next step is to call her when i start my period, uhhh hello i never get it on my own you should know this by now stupid nurse who sucks at giving iv's! To which her reply was well Dr F is out of the office till tomorrow or Monday I'll have to run it by him to see what we need to do. Hello lady have i mentioned I hate waiting!!!! I did finally receive a call Friday that I'm to start bcp's and take them for 2 weeks and then stop them, therefore inducing my period. Then I'm told after I get my period i will need to go back in for some more blood work because they want to test for any clotting issues i might have therefore avoiding another m/c and I'm fine with this but once again this leaves me waiting again and then after those results are back I'm going to have a hystroscopy(sp) to make sure there isn't any scar tissue left from the D&E and then we will discuss how and when the FET will go! Can somebody please kick me in the uterus to get some blood flowing out. Why am i always waiting, so now it sounds like my FET cycle isn't going to start until like April and of course in April we are going away to visit family in Wisconsin and I'm sure everything is going to fall on that week therefore pushing things back even more. I feel like this is never going to happen for me. I'm suppose to be 10weeks pregnant right now, I don't understand why someone doesn't want me to have a baby. And i know i should feel lucky to have 9 frozen embryos and have 5 more fresh ivf tries or my money back for adoption but i don't want to go through all that, i want my baby now!

Ok sorry for the vent!