**Disclaimer**
To those that know me in real life, Luke and I would like to keep it a secret when we start trying to conceive again. We ask that those of you who are reading this please keep the contents of my blog a secret. I thought about giving up the blog or setting the blog to private but i know there are many people out there reading this that are going through the same thing I am and I don't want them not to be able to view this. I also don't want to give up the blog because it helps to journal what I'm going through! Thanks so much!
So I gotta my beta results and I'm finally at 0, yay! right? No...she proceeds to tell me that the next step is to call her when i start my period, uhhh hello i never get it on my own you should know this by now stupid nurse who sucks at giving iv's! To which her reply was well Dr F is out of the office till tomorrow or Monday I'll have to run it by him to see what we need to do. Hello lady have i mentioned I hate waiting!!!! I did finally receive a call Friday that I'm to start bcp's and take them for 2 weeks and then stop them, therefore inducing my period. Then I'm told after I get my period i will need to go back in for some more blood work because they want to test for any clotting issues i might have therefore avoiding another m/c and I'm fine with this but once again this leaves me waiting again and then after those results are back I'm going to have a hystroscopy(sp) to make sure there isn't any scar tissue left from the D&E and then we will discuss how and when the FET will go! Can somebody please kick me in the uterus to get some blood flowing out. Why am i always waiting, so now it sounds like my FET cycle isn't going to start until like April and of course in April we are going away to visit family in Wisconsin and I'm sure everything is going to fall on that week therefore pushing things back even more. I feel like this is never going to happen for me. I'm suppose to be 10weeks pregnant right now, I don't understand why someone doesn't want me to have a baby. And i know i should feel lucky to have 9 frozen embryos and have 5 more fresh ivf tries or my money back for adoption but i don't want to go through all that, i want my baby now!
Ok sorry for the vent!
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8 comments:
I'm sorry that you have to wait! We have to wait until April too!! I will be praying for you!!
My beta was zero last Tuesday! Apparently you don't start your cycle again until it's zero, so I'm curious as to when I'll have my period.
We'll be doing an FET in April too, probably.
Secret's safe with me!!
Hi Krisy,
I hear you sister! Honestly, waiting is the most difficult part of all of this for me. This time around I tried my best to just be patient and not let the clinic imposed break cycle between IVF's get me down. It's gone surprisingly well...not sure how I pulled it off, but it's definitely better than the alternative.
It's so frustrating to not have what we want. The whole thing is quite unfair, but at least you have good company along the way, right?
I hope the time between now and April passes quickly for you.
Jess
Krisy,
I hope time passes quickly. I understand the waiting game. It sucks. More than that though, I understand the feeling of wondering "why can't I have a baby?". We were supposed to be having our first one in April, but I miscarried in October at 12 weeks. I still don't understand, and am confused every single day about why I can't get pregnant again and just be a mom. Thanks for your story and your courage. It helps to know that others are going through this struggle too.
I am thinking about you and here if you need to vent or someone to listen that has been there.
A friend of mine shared your blog with me. I love your honesty and your sense of humor and zest for life. I think your story has touched so many woman, and you are a woman of strength and grace for sharing it. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks from "natural" causes when I was 28 yrs old prior to my pregnancy with Eva when I was almost 30. We are now adopting our second from Ethiopia. Journeys to motherhood, no matter what the road taken, are always so inspiring. Often filled with heartbreak and joy, but equally full of life and surrounded by God's presence. God bless you guys!
Theresa
Oh vent away. I am so sorry for your loss, and am so glad you feel like trying again soon. After each of our due dates pass, I think, I shoudl've been this pregnant or had a baby this age... it is hard not to.
I am trying to start IVF #1 and have had so many delays- tubes had to be removed (hence my blog, tubeless in seattle) and major cyst issues. I feel like I wait a a lot too. You are in good company!
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