Monday, December 22, 2008

Transfer...

We just got back from our embryo transfer this morning. Things went absolutely perfect. As of 6:15am we only had one blast but by transfer time, we had another morula turn into a blast, so we had 2 perfect blasts transferred. We have 7 morulas left which we are hoping that they continue to grow today and turn into blasts so we can freeze them. We should know more later today or tomorrow about our snow babies. So for the transfer your bladder has to be full and mine definitely was, i had to lay there dying to pee while they pressed on my belly with the ultrasound and inserted a speculum. Talk about wanted to pee all over the place!! First they did a practice transfer and then the embryologist brought in our 2 babies and you could see on the ultrasound the catheter going in and little puffs of smoke coming out the end of it, those puffs were our babies. Unfortunately the microscope camera was broken so we don't have actual pictures of our blasts but here is a sample of what one looks like. Well I'm off to lay down for awhile and pray these little babies stick and then its back to work tomorrow!


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Embie update...

Here are the updated stats of our little embryos. It seems that more than 22 have now fertilized and now we have 26. I'm just as clueless as most of you reading this about what all this means so Emily or Dagny maybe you could help me out. As far as I know 8cell is perfect for day 3.

Of our ICIS ones:
1-8cell
1-7cell
2-6cell
2-5cell
3-4cell

Of our naturally fertilized ones:
8-8cell
4-7cell
5-6cell

Friday, December 19, 2008

To many butt shots...

Just got back from the Dr's after having some more of my blood sucked out. My progesterone and estrogen levels are plummeting fast. This is good and bad at the same time. Good because it means I have avoided OHSS and I have officially been taking off complete bed rest. I still have to take it easy, no jogging or anything(hehe, those that know me, know i wouldn't do this anyway) but at least i can get up and around now. Its bad because we need those hormone levels to stay at a certain amount. So today i get to take 3 shots in the butt. He made me take a PIO(progesterone in oil) shot right away and I will do another tonight at 9 and I will also take an E2 shot at the same time. Talk about a sore bum tomorrow. Starting tomorrow I can up the PIO from 50mg to 100mgs therefore only taking one shot in the butt and the estrogen is only needed every third day!

We are back in on Monday at 8:30am for our transfer. So exciting, I should get a call tomorrow with an update on how are little embies are doing!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Retrival...

Ok quick post as i must get back into bed. Things went very well yesterday, it tool 1.5hrs to retrive the usual is 45mins but you all know I had tons of follicles. When it was all said and done they got 32 mature eggs. Not an office record but it was right up there. I just got the call today that of those 32, 22 fertilized. 13 fertilized naturally and 9 fertilized with icsi. So i'm pretty excited, thats a lot of embryos and now I technically have 22 babies right now. They check them again on Sat and I will get a call to update.

So far OHSS has stayed away. I'm on bedrest and i shouldn't even being sitting up at the computer right now but i didnt' want to leave everyone in supense any longer. I have to chart how much liquid i drink and how much liquid i pee out. I have this little thing called "the hat" that fits over the toilet. They also monitor my weight twice a day and last night I was 121.5 which is a couple pounds higher than normal but this morning I was back at 118, so things are going well. OK i'll update at some point!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Finally...

TRIGGER TONIGHT! So at 10:30 this evening I get to take my trigger shot. I'm doing 40units of Lupron. I guess in high doses Lupron can be used as a trigger and it minimizes the risk of getting OHSS. My E2 is 7892, that's freaking crazy, I so hope I don't end up getting OHSS. Anyway my ER is Wednesday at 8:30am. They say that i have 102 follicles now not all of those will contain eggs but all the larger ones should. Today my largest was 21.5, 20, a couple 19's and some 18's. Well I've been instructed to stay laying down so I'm off to the couch again, I'll update after Wednesday!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Bedrest??

I'M ON FREAKIN BEDREST, WHAT THE SHIT??

I will be dying of boredom starting now until after my transfer. Please Please take these follicles out of me!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Is that a bunch of grapes in my ovaries or...

do i seriously have that many follicles developing. So i have been officially scolded by my RE for not shuffling when I walk. I am so full of follicles that the motion of picking up my feet to walk could send me into OHSS. I can't even explain what my stomach feels like right now, rock hard and bloated?? It actually hurts to pee, i guess when my bladder is emptied my ovaries kinda of fall back into place. Anyway my E2 shot from 1074 yesterday to 2606 today. Tonight I add 2 additional injections. Ganirelix to suppress my ovaries from ovulation and Luveris to help them mature even more. My follistim is bumped from 125iu to 200iu's because it needs to override the Ganirelix. Its some crazy stuff, I'm suppressing and at the same time stimulating. I am anxiously awaiting my retrieval to get all these follies out of my ovaries! Here is a pic of what my ovaries look like right now, this is not personally mine but looks very similar.



Thursday, December 11, 2008

Follies galore...

My ovaries are filled and I'm feeling it! Today was my 3rd ultrasound appt and it took so long my legs were literally shaking in the stirrups. It reminded me of my patients when their jaw starts to shake because its been open so long! Anyway my E2(estradol) level has shot from less then 20 on Saturday to 484 on Tuesday and today its at 1074. My right ovary is jumping ahead with the most follicles, its have somewhere between 20-25 and the largest ones are 12.5mm. The left has about 10-15 follicles with the largest ones being 12mm. My pants are already fitting tighter due to my swelling ovaries and I'm slightly nauseous and have a constant headache, which actually isn't here right now so I'm happy! Tonight, along with my injections I am to start my Terconazole cream and you all can guess where that cream gets to go...this is to prevent any type of yeast infections from all the drugs I'm on. Oh how I always love the "vag" meds! I'm back tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and blood work and I will be back everyday until retrieval apparently. Things are moving along great and I can't wait for retrieval!

Monday, December 8, 2008

$$$...

Insert big pile of vomit here.........
On the plus side my cat doesn't need surgery!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

IVF and Vet visits...

Well today was my 1st ultrasound for my 1st IVF cycle. Everything checked out so tonight I get to start stimming. We are just starting out at 150iu's of Follistim once a day. I react pretty well to the drugs so I doubt my dose would ever make it to twice a day. Next appointment is Tuesday morning, that's when the money is due and Luke has to drop off his sample to be frozen. We have to freeze his sample just on the off chance that on retrieval day he gets "stage fright" and can't produce a sample. Oh and that's an extra $200 not included in the $22,000 that's also due that day.


So just because we are broke from our own medical bills, my little Snackers was attached by the neighborhood cat bully from across the street. 6 puncture wounds on her left hind leg and they were abscessed and all nasty. So Thursday evening we had to go to the vet where she was clipped and the wounds were flushed. She got a shot of antibiotics and we were sent home with pills for her. Not sure if anyone has every tried shoving pills down a cats throat, not easy! The best part is we have to go back Monday for another check because her wounds were so bad they might have to surgically remove all the dead tissue...Yea! cause we have a couple hundred extra dollars laying around.
Isn't she just beautiful, I feel so bad for her!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Quick IVF update...

Looks like things are going to get rolling in about 2 weeks. I'm on BCP's till 12/1 and i'll have and ultrasound that day. If all looks good, I get to go off the pill and I go back on 12/6 for another ultrasound and that would be the day I get started on my meds. We have a tenative egg retrieval on 12/17 and an embryo transfer for 12/22. So I will sorta kinda be pregnant for Christmas, whether or not the embryo's stick, we'll have to wait and see!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

IVF Consult...

Yesterday was our consult for IVF. Boy was that overwhelming, 2hrs of "oh my god what are we doing". But even the thought of being broke, all the shots. and all the trips to the Dr's isn't going to stop us. Dr Fiedler offers a really great program and its the only place in this area to offer it. For a rather large sum of money($22,000) which doesn't include meds, anesthesia and various other small but expensive things we will get 6 stimulated trys at the IVF and if we don't deliver a live baby we will get all our money back to put towards adoption. What I mean by 6 stimulated tries is, my first cycle will be stimulated by meds. After the egg retrieval and embryo transfer what ever embryo's are left over will be frozen. If we don't get pregnant from the 1st cycle our next cycle will be a FET(frozen embryo transfer) cycle. They will thaw our left over embryos and transfer them. That FET cycle doesn't count as cycle #2. If the FET cycle fails we will then stimulate again to get fresh eggs, that counts as cycle 2. So if i go through all my cycles we are actually looking at 12cycles being included in that price. That makes it way more worth it to me. However if we get pregnant on the 1st cycle, we have just lost about $10,000 but a baby makes it worth it and it will be nice not to have to go through all the poking and prodding.

I don't know to many details or dates at the moment, we are kinda taking it one thing at a time. I still have a left over cyst on my right ovary. A cyst is actually a leftover follicle. If that's there when we start stimulating that will grow way to big and might stop others from growing. So I'm going to start birth control pills today and will probably be on them between 2-3weeks. They should get rid of the cyst and bring my E2 level down. If everything looks good at that time we will begin stimulating.

Its not just going to be one drug I'm injecting this time. Its more like 3-4different drugs. Some are belly shots and some are butt shots(ouch). We had butt shot instructions yesterday. Luke had to learn to do it and that scared me. Their i was with my pants half off, bent over a chair and Luke had to stab my butt. But thankfully my butt is so tiny that I get to use 1inch needles instead of 1.5inch needles. It still burns though!

That's about all I can remember, I'll update as i find more out. I gotta go get ready to see the two little girls that make me realize how worth it this journey is!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Beta results

Well as suspected it was a BFN(big fat negative). I knew it wouldn't get pregnant that easy and for that little money! So here are some things I am starting to wonder about:

1.Who the hell shot my stork???
2.Where is that magically water that everyone drinks and gets pregnant because I would love a glass of it?
3.Who has a husband that all he has to do it look at you and your pregnant because can he come over and stare at me!

Apparently my Dr can shoot the sperm right into the path of 4-6 eggs ovulating and I still can't freakin get pregnant.

Here are some lies I'm sick of hearing...

1.Oh don't worry, you'll be next...umm no i won't because somebody always get pregnant before me.
2.Just relax, it will happen...no it won't because i don't make enough hormones!
3.It will happen when the time is right...but the time is right, right now damn it!

Ok enough of me being bitter its time to move on. We have an IVF consult this coming Thursday. So somehow in the next couple days we have to come up with $20,000. We are so going to be poor. But that $20,000 does get us 6 tries and if we don't deliver a baby with get the money back.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I caved...

So I caved this morning and took a test, much to Luke's disapproval. It was what I had expected...just one stupid little pink line. Oh how badly I had wanted two pink lines. Yes, yes i know what you all will say..."Maybe tomorrows blood test will show something different, it still could be to early" I know its a way to make me feel better and i appreciate it but lets be honest, it isn't happening. I'm not as upset as i thought i might be, i guess i have just knew all along it wasn't going to be as easy as getting pregnant with my 1st IUI. I am still happy i had the chance to actually do the IUI without the cycle being cancelled. I suppose we are on to much much more expensive treatments! I'll update the official results tomorrow!

Friday, October 31, 2008

How it feels...

So I got this video off of my friend Emily and I'm going to post it also. I'm not doing this because I want people to take pity on me. Its just that this video completely sums up what infertility feels like to those of us struggling with it. I wasn't sure if if was going to hold off and posting this until after I found out the results of our last treatment but I decided that I should share how it feels to go through this. A lot of times we put up a good front for people so they don't really see how much it hurts. I know that someday soon we will get our baby but we will never forget what we went through to have it! Oh and Mom don't cry because I know you probably will.
Empty Arms

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I'm offically in...

the tww(two week wait). We are so very excited to have our first real attempted at this baby making thing. Monday morning we went in for our first IUI. My ultrasound showed I hadn't ovulated yet(which was good) because that allowed us to have back to back IUI's. Luke, the macho man that he is supplied us with a well above average count. 146million swimmers and this was even after washing out all the bad ones and what ever else makes up the rest of it. It was over in like 2 seconds, insert the speculum and syringe the swimmers in. I had to lay down for 10mins and off to work i went. I was still not convinced that my body was actually going to ovulate on its own but they continued to reassure me it was. They said your LH was 46 most people come in with an LH of 15, you going to ovulate! I suppose i have the believe them, their the experts.

So Today we went in bright and early for IUI #2. I didn't get an ultrasound because they said i didn't need one because they were sure i had ovulated. I still can't believe that my body did it on its own, without the shot but I am still trying to trust them. Luke provided us with 18.8million this morning. They assured us its normal for the count to drop on day 2, he felt bad but it still was an awesome count. We reassured him, he is still above average. Tomorrow i start my progesterone suppositories and I go in Friday morning to check my P4(progesterone) level to make sure my body is absorbing enough and then on 11/10 I go in for my beta. I know I'm going to totally cave and test the day before, I'd rather be let down at home and be told by the nurse. I definitely am not getting my hopes up, i know all to well that this doesn't work more than it does, I'm just happy to have finally got the chance at it.

Thanks for all the well wishes and I hope I get to share some good news soon!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Weekend Update...

So I've spent every morning this weekend at the Dr's. Saturday we were a little concerned again because a bunch of follicles had started growing at the same rate. I think we were looking at about 10 follicles that were potentially big enough to ovulate. My E2 level had doubled to 868 and my biggest follicles were at 13.5mm. So I was upset and thinking that once again my cycle was going to be cancelled.

So this morning I went in and my biggest were 15.5mm. I had one in each ovary and i had a 14mm, some 13.5's and some 12,11 and 10's. Today there is a potential of 7 follicles getting mature enough. When i was leaving the nurse was asking me if i had my trigger shot and it Luke had a cup to "deposit" in. That left a little curious and she said we will see you tomorrow one way or another. I took that to me either for a normal check or possible the IUI. Well about an hour later i got a call saying my E2 was at 1086 and my LH was at 46 meaning I am actually starting to ovulate on my own rather than using a trigger shot. Which is crazy because i thought my reproductive organs hated me and could do nothing on their own. SO...tomorrow morning is IUI day. I"m so so excited and a little nervous. More so due to the fact that I'm not allowed to take the trigger shot. I feel like i need it in order to ovulate but I trust my Dr knows what he is doing. And due to the fact that i am having weird little crampy twinges around my ovaries, i guess i really am ovulating on my own. Tomorrow we have to sign a waiver that we understand that the risk of multiples is very high for us. That makes me laugh but also makes me quite nervous. We do not want to be the next Jon and Kate.

9:00am tomorrow morning, wish us luck!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

CD 13...

Well let me start off by saying, I have been to the Dr every morning this week except Tuesday. If it was summer and I was wearing short sleeves, people might assume I was a heroine junkie. I think I have what would be considered "track marks". My problem has been my stupid polycystic ovaries. I have tons of follicles that are growing instead of a couple just growing. I think the last time i blogged my E2 level was at 65, from there is went to 194 and then to 300 something. They say one mature follicle should produced around 150, so in my case instead of my high number being from a few big follicles its coming from a lot medium sized follicles. I like to say I'm suffering from the Jon and Kate + 8 syndrome. The last couple days my biggest follicles have been a 9 with some 8's and 7's and tons smaller. My fear has been that this cycle is going to be cancelled if a few of these don't take off soon.

So today i once again was in for my blood test and "vag cam" appointment. While I was getting my blood drawn Dr F walked in and said "Theres my tricky little patient". So I ask him what would be the final straw to make him cancel this cycle. He said if my E2 level keeps going up and a few follicles don't take off to dominate he would cancel. I then asked if it was possible to convert an IUI cycle to IVF. He said sometimes yes, so if this cycle fails I'm pretty sure we will convert to IVF. He also said he would apply what we've already paid to the IVF cycle(have i mentioned how much i love him). They would just pumped up my meds and get all these little follicles to grow like mad.

So then i go in to get my ultrasound and the tech tells me how perfect my lining is right now. For pregnancy it needs to be 7mm and above and I'm at a 9.5, thankfully something is going my way. Then we find 2 of my follicles have jumped from a 9mm to 11mm overnight yea!!! I still have some 9's and 8's and of course smaller but I'm so happy in just 24hrs 2 have made the jump to become dominate. I'm still waiting for my phone call to make sure all is still good so I'll be back on later to update!

Ok just got the call...E2 is 468 and I'm still injecting tonight and going in tomorrow morning. Dr seems happy I've had growth so this cycle is still on for now!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

CD 9

Today I had another Ultrasound appt. Not to much going on yet. My biggest follicle was 7.8mm, we still have a ways to go yet. Dr F upped my dose from 75 to 112.5 so we should start seeing some action really soon. My E2 levels went from 39 to 65 so little by little we are getting there. More to come on Friday...

Friday, October 17, 2008

CD6 Follie check...

As i suspected there has been no follicle growth since Tuesday. I was on such a low dose of my meds that this doesn't surprise me. My E2 level was only 39 and that's pretty low. So for the next 3 nights Dr F is upping my dose to 75iu's. I have so so many follicles in my ovaries right now that he is just being cautious and taking it slow. We don't want all of those to mature and the cycle to be cancelled so I'm OK with taking it slow and it taking just a little longer. I still suspect my dose will need to be increased even more before we see some action. Next appt is on Monday, I'll update then.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Its Time...

Well 4months of waiting is finally over, god that took forever! Today i had my CD3(cycle day) ultrasound. Everything looked good, as usually my ovaries are filled with many many tiny follicles. That's what polycystic ovaries are, tons of follicles that never mature. Dr F was pleased to have so much to work with but a bit cautious. We don't want all 20 of them to mature, that would be craziness. He is starting me out on the lowest dose of my Gonal-F for the next 3 nights,37.5IU's(individual units) Last cycles i started at 75iu's so i really don't expect to see much growth by my next appt on Friday but i understand his need to start slow. I completely trust he knows what he is doing. So in about 45mins i get to give myself the most satisfying jab in the belly! Isn't that completely crazy how excited and anxious i am to give myself a shot? Anyway more updates Friday!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Cautiously Optimistic...

We had another appointment with my favorite baby making Dr today. I absolutely love him, hes amazing. It was our injection lesson and IUI(otherwise know as the "turkey baster" for you fertile folks)consult. Since I have already done the injections before this little lesson was pointless and cost $50. This whole baby making business is insanely expensive. Why can't i get it free like everyone else. Why i can't i go out and get wasted have crazy random sex and end up knocked up, its soo unfair! Just joking Luke i would never go out and do that, even if i was fertile!

So I'm still on my estrogen therapy which is causing me to break out in clusters of zits on my face. Its awesome, its makes me feel so pretty. I am also now using my progesterone suppositories which surprisingly aren't bad at all. I would do those any day, rather then having to supposit things in the other area(i.e. my enema). If all goes according to plan i should start stimulating in about 2.5weeks. Everyday i open my fridge i see my Gonal-F pen calling my name, is it crazy to be so excited about injecting myself in the belly everyday??? I am and i can't help it! So I'm thinking somewhere around Oct 25thish we should be BASTING!!! I tell myself everyday not to get excited about this. I know all to well that this is more likely not to work then to actually work. I also know every other time in the past i have gotten excited it has only led to awful disappointment and crazy hurt from every part of me. But I'm allowed to be excited right? I'm allowed to be "Cautiously Optimistic!"

Friday, September 19, 2008

Post-Op #2

Here is the latest update on operation baby:

This morning i went for my post-op appt to find out all the surgery details i was to groggy to remember. He had plenty of pictures to show me, it was gross yet really quite interesting. I even got to see my liver, appendix and bowel. Anyway here are the details.

He said i had numerous polyps removed. 2 of the polyps had stems on them and were creeping up my tubes. There was a couple spots of endometriosis removed. I had some fibroids in my pelvis area that were removed. I had a cyst removed near my ovaries that was to big to pull through the laproscopic holes so they had to cut it apart first. And my bowel was stuck to my uterus so that was cut away and placed correctly. How crazy is that he said i was either born that way or i could have had some inflammation that led to it. I was like holy sh*t but he assured me he had seen worse. Everything that was removed was benign so that was good. So our next step is a cycle of injectable fertility drugs plus iui's. IUI=Intrauterine insemination. To put it bluntly, I'm being turkey basted with the best of what Luke has to offer. Probably happening mid-late Oct, he basically removed my whole uterine lining so I'm on estrogen to replenish that. Starting 10/1 i begin my progesterone suppositories for 10 days and then wait for my period and begin treatment. I can't wait, I hope it works or we are out $2200 and will have plenty of heartache! But money and heartache won't stop us on this journey. If it doesn't work IVF is next!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Surgery Update #2

Just wanted to give you all a quick update before the vicodin kicks in:

So the surgery lasted 4hrs, my first lap only took 1hr, shows you how hard my previous Dr check things out. I have numerous polyps in my uterus extending into my tubes. So all those were removed and he actually found some mild endometriosis. Even though its mild, he said endo is endo, so all that was removed. As for the uterus septum it was all muscles tissue, no fibrous stuff yea!! I still have to go on some estrogen for 28 days to build my lining up in all the places he had to cut polyps away so i suppose I'm waiting again. Once I'm done with the estrogen he have me use some progesterone suppositories(these sound fun) to bring on my period and then we will start treatment. Unsure what route we're taking we will talk about it next week at our post-op check, i will also find out more details about the surgery.

Oh and this just made me laugh, which made my stomach hurt!




Sunday, September 7, 2008

Am I....

Am I scared for my surgery on Thursday, No I'm not. Am I scared of what he is making me do that morning...Yes!



Thursday, September 4, 2008

Jalapeno eye and stuff...

So I have acquired an awful and painful medical condition...I like to call it Jalapeno eye! This is how it occurred: It all started when Luke's friend from work gave us a couple of jalapeno peppers he grew in his garden. Tuesday night i decided to make some chicken enchiladas and cut 2 of the peppers up and add it to our dinner. The enchiladas turned out good but they tasted like about 20 fireballs in your mouth. Fast forward 2hrs later and at least 3 hand washings since i cut the peppers up, i go to take my contacts out. Big Mistake! My eyeballs lit on fire, it felt like somebody was holding a match to my eye. I tried splashing water in my eyes, splashing milk in them, flushing them with contact solution. Finally about an hour later the burning subsided. So the next morning i stupidly go to put my contacts in and my jalapeno eye flares up all over again. So here i am 2 days later, still wearing my glasses because my eyes are all swelled and red but are getting much better so hopefully tomorrow I'll be in remission.

Anyway, here are some Labor Day pics:



Here is our goggle patrol...Jackie Benko, Bain Meloy and Paige Blough
She was too cute with her big face mask

We found another lover of sausage dip, little Gwen is just like Mommy. For those who don't know, sausage dip is the most amazing tastiest fattening dip ever!


Its never a party at Lonny's without the jumpy house. It like a free babysitter just lock them in and continue partying!



So Luke almost smiled in this photo


And i couldn't resist posting a pic of the most sexiest cat ever. Heather don't you just wanna smoosh you face in her belly!







Friday, August 29, 2008

My good/bad update!

Well i had my 5hr appt today with my new reproductive endocrinologist.

First off, i love my new Dr, he was great and is much more aggressive. I had been warned that he is the best Dr in the area but his bedside manner sucked. Well i thought he was wonderful and he has a great personality. I firmly believe if anyone is going to get me pregnant it will be him or it just won't be possible to get me pregnant.



So here is the bad news. I need to have my lap surgery done all over again. He thinks that my polyp was never completely removed and my uterus seems to have something called a septum in it. If the septum is made of muscle that's good no problems but if its fibrous material, it needs to be surgically removed. It is a correctable problem and it won't reoccur. The only way to find out is by doing another lap. Which will cost us $750 since only part of it will be covered. My Dr did however feel bad that i just had it done so the 750 is a discounted rate.


So i go in for some blood work on Tues, just some basic stuff. They will check all my hormone levels, my thyroid and also if i have any insulin problems. After that comes back i will be put on birth control pills and stay on them without taking the placebo pills therefore stopping me from getting a period(not that i get one anyway) Then both me and Luke have to go on Doxycyclene to make sure we aren't carrying any bacteria "down there". Then Luke has to have a sperm culture done(he's so excited) and my culture will be done while in surgery. Surgery is scheduled for 9/11, thank god there was a cancellation otherwise I'd be waiting till Nov. If during surgery he finds out my uterine septum is fibrous he will cut out that fibrous material and i will be put on estrogen for a couple months while it heals. If my uterus is ok, after my post-op check i will be placed on Metaformin. Even if I'm not insulin resistant they say going on this drug actually helps pcos women ovulate on their own. Then from there we will talk about our next step, whether its another injectable cycle with or without IUI or if we want to go straight to IVF. We found out a lot of the ultrasounds i will need while on my injectable cycle will not be covered this time. So depending on the cost of that we might just scrap that idea and go right to IVF, that's still to be determined.



So i guess this scraps the new siding and things we have been wanted to do to the house. We are obviously going to blow through all our savings and extra money trying to get a baby. If it happens all this money and effort will have been well worth it. I feel like i need to start fundraising for myself...anyone wanna buy a candy bar?? Just kidding, i gotta laugh and joke or i might break down and cry!


So once again I'm waiting, ugh! Why why me, i don't get it. I swear, i'm a good person!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Can We...

Please stop using plastic bags! Awhile back i bought some canvas bags at Giant and I love them. They were only 99cents and hold way more than a normal plastic grocery bag. Here is why i feel so strongly about using them: http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080506/MULTIMEDIA02/80505016

Monday, August 18, 2008

Salesmen Suck!

So about 5mins ago a salesman came to my door selling cleaning products. He ask me if i was a mother, i said no and this is what he did: He held up his hand to give me a high-five and he said, and i quote "Oh yea...way to be keepin it stretch free" I was like WTF, now i know he has no idea of my infertility situation but who the heck says that. I was about to take his cleaning products and shove them up, well you know! So no I'm not buying your stupid product and the money i save by not buying it I'm putting it towards conceiving my baby!! OK sorry for the vent, it was just to crazy not to post!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Girls Beach Weekend Part Duex

Heather, the girls and I made it down to the beach for another fun filled weekend. We had two gorgeous weather days to soak up the sun and chase around really sandy little girls! You can check out Heather's blog to see more pics from out weekend but here are a few of mine:

Here is Maura and Mommy soaking up the sun!
I really didn't know it was possible to have SO much sand come out of a bathing suit. After seeing this picture i now know how that happened. She was swimming in the sand!


I know, really bad picture quality here but I had to show it. I went down with 2 pregnant women with some serious Dorito cravings. Here is one of our binge sessions Saturday afternoon. No I'm not pregnant but i sure did eat like i was. Doritos, pretzels, cheese dip, salsa and spinach dip. Oh lets not forget Kohrs brothers ice cream 2 nights in a row. Heather you made me a lover of chocolate jimmies on my soft serve, yum!
I'll leave you guys with a really cute video of how to play ring around the rosie on the beach!


video

Thursday, July 24, 2008

i'm a blog slacker

Sorry I'm such a blog slacker, i really just have nothing interesting going on right now. I thought i would just give an update on where i stand in my treatment. I finally got myself and appt with the specialist. It only took a month and a huge amount of paperwork,getting medical records transferred and then waiting for my new Dr to review everything. Now I'm playing the waiting game till Aug 29th. Our first appt to 4hrs long, man! I really glad how through he is being though. When we get there we have more paperwork to fill out, then we sit down with the insurance specialist and go over everything that's covered and not covered(thank god Luke has amazing coverage or we would be broke), then we meet with the nurse who will do any testing i may need and do an exam(yea!), then we get to meet the Dr to come up with the game plan.

I'm going to see Dr Fiedler, he is one of only 900 board certified RE's(reproductive endocrinologist) in the country and the only one in the Harrisburg area. If anyone is interested you can check it out at http://www.harrisburgivf.com/. He is suppose to be one of the best Re's around, i have heard his bedside manner is a little lacking but I'm not looking for a best friend, I'm looking for someone to get me pregnant. He also offers a really great IVF program, as long as i qualify, which I've been told i do fit the criteria. For $20,000 you get 6 tries and if you don't deliver a live baby you get all your money back because he feels you should then be able to use that money for adoption. So I'm thinking he can't be that bad of a guy. Oh another good thing is i won't have to run back and forth to the hospital for my ultrasounds and the lab for my blood work, everything is done there and i get my results right then.

OK well I've rambled enough. Thanks to everyone for all the support you have given me in your comments. And thanks to my sweetie(you know who you are) for always being there to listen to my problems and read my email freak outs(hehe) and for sharing her 2 little sweeties who make it all better when i come to the door and they fight to hug me!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Its a bust!

Unfortunatly this cycle didn't work. After all 7 ultrasounds, 7 jabs in the arm, and 8 jabs in the belly, my Dr pulled the plug on this cycle. She said i had to many almost mature follicles and made me stop injecting. She didn't want to me have 5 babies and she also feared hyperstimulation. I understand her reasoning but i'm still pretty crushed by it all. My next step is to go to an infertility specialists and hope that they will have some more answers for me and be more aggressive! Thanks for all the prayers and wishes for this cycle.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Gonal-F Injections

So i was going to show you a video of my doing the injections but i can't get it to upload for some reason and i don't have time to try any longer tonight. The injections really don't hurt as bad as i thought they would. The worst part of this whole process is going every other morning for blood work and ultrasounds. My day starts at the Hershey Med center for blood work. My poor veins, I'm going to look like a heroine addict soon. After that i then go to Harrisburg Hospital for an internal ultrasound. The reason i don't' do everything at one hospital is because my Dr is affiliated with Harrisburg but Hershey can get blood work results back faster. Yeah, it sucks! I have been injected now for 6days.

According to my Dr everything is going very good. I just found out today that i have a 10mm follicle in the right ovary, yea!!! A good egg for ovulating is usually around 18-20mm so i'm half way there. My dose just got upped from 75 to 150iu's because my estrogen started to fall so i'm hoping this will get me more than one egg to ovulate. Not that i want 6 kids but i'd like to have at least 2 eggs ovulate so my chances of getting pregnant increase. Hopefully sometime tomorrow i will get that video posted!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Girls Beach Trip

Last weekend Heather, Breanna, Maura and I headed down to Rehobeth for our long awaited girls weekend! We had great weather and many many hours of good times! Enjoy some pics i stole from Heather since i left my camera on my kitchen table!

Thanks to Jim and Nancy(Heather parents) for inviting me to your awesome beach house! I had such a fun time, can't wait to do it again soon!

Right in the middle of the beach there was a small gully were water had collected. It ended up being the perfect baby pool. The water was bathtub warm and it was only ankle deep. Maura really enjoyed playing for hours in here. Heather and I named it the cesspool, I'm really hoping it wasn't as dirty as i thought it was!


And yes Heather and I did eventually give in and get into the cesspool!




Maura then entertained us with her version of Thriller. This pic cracks me up!



So Friday we took the girls to FunLand on the boardwalk. Note to all these teacups look like a harmless kids ride but really its a mix of the scrambler and the tilt-a-whirl. Not good for little girls and big girls after rum punch!












Loved the helicopters, its been about 20yrs since i last rode a ride like this. Heather and I were glad we got to ride along!









I think both girls really loved the rides. It was quite a tiring day. I believe we were all asleep by 9:30 that night.






So Heather, after looking at this picture, i think i now understand why people always ask us if we are sisters...oddly enough, we really do look alike. Thanks for the run punch Keegan and the coconut cups hehe!!









Tuesday, June 3, 2008

This better work!


Just wanted to share my little arsenol of baby making supplies. I just got my Gonal-F pen in the mail today. Lets see starting from the left, that bottle of pills is my provera. This is what makes me get my period. I take 1 pill a day for 7days and then about 5 days later i get it. Then starting on day 3 of my cycle i go for my baseline ultrasound and if all is good, i start my injections that night. That pen looking thing is the injections and my big box of needles is behind it. Those are 29 gauge needles, i don't know if anyone knows anything about needles but thats kinda big, i expected smaller! And with it i get my alcohol wipes and my cute little sharps container. So i will be giving myself injections every night for 10-12 days in a row and will be having ultrasounds every other day. All i have to say is this BETTER WORK!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Post-op check

So i had my surgery post-op check today. Everything went well and looks great. I got to see pics of my ovaries, tubes and uterus. The Dr said everything in there looks text book perfect. Now if only we could get me to ovulate!!

So next week i am going to have my little class on how to give myself the injections. Sitting here right now i feel like i will be able to give myself the injections but we'll see when it comes down to it. Luke may possible wind up doing it for me. I'm going to try my best though, i want a baby soo bad i think i can muster up the courage to jab myself!! So by mid-june i will start on my Gonal-F injections. I holding off for a couple weeks because Heather, Sharon and I are going to the beach the first weekend in June so i don't want to deal with it down there. Very excited for a girls weekend at the beach, the best thing is at least one night we will have a babysitter for Breanna and Maura and Sharon who is pregnant has volunteered her services as a DD for Heather and I for our night at Secrets!!! Thanks Sharon!

So i plan on posting my own video for you guys to see but until i start here is one i found on youtube if anyone is interested:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fADyj_nLKqs

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Surgery Update!

Finally all my surgical procedures are done! Everything went really well yesterday, actually better than i expected. I was definilty a little nervous until they anethesiologist gave me that wonderful drug and he said it would feel like a drank a six-pack all at once. He was right, i couldn't stop giggling after that. Once in the operating room he placed that mask over my mouth and Miss Maura Tressler my mask smelled like rootbeer! After that the next think i knew i was waking up. I wasn't even feeling nauseas at all, which was my main concern pre-surgery and very little pain. Today my bellybutton is pretty sore and i have like pressure pain up through to my shoulder but that is just all the gas the pumped me up with so they could see better. So after all of that, my tube was open afterall. My polyp was removed, it was pretty small but it was located at the end of my left tube which could have blocked the dye in the inital test i had and it also could have blocked and future eggs being released. So i would have the say the surgery was definilty worth it. At the end of this month i get to move on to my injectables...i so excited i hope this month goes fast!

Here is a post surgery belly pic, you can see my bloody belly button and my other incision is on my lower left but its on your right if your looking at the pic.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Dance Machine Part Duex

Little Jackie Benko was once again our Monday night dinner entertainer. Pay special attention to her ending move...its a very nice leg lift!

video

Friday, April 18, 2008

Update

Today was my consult for my upcoming surgery. It is definitly going to be on April 30th. Basically i'm just getting 3 small incisions, one in my belly button and the other two on either side of my belly. She is going to check all my girlie organs out and make sure that there is absolutly nothing else in there that would prevent pregnancy. Anything that would be there, wether its a cyst, fibroids or endometriosis, she will remove it at that time.

In a happy note, we got Luke's sperm analysis back. Everything is perfectly normal, in fact he has above average sperm quality. If you guys could only of seen his face when i told him this. He thinks he is just the most macho man right now. I even heard him bragging to his one friend on the phone earlier. Never tell him i am writing this in my blog, he would be so mad(or would he proud). Anyway i'm just happy to finally have some sort of good news!!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Yet another bump in the road!

So today was the day i was suppose to have my D&C and Polypectomy but it never happened. I got a call from my Dr at 7:30 this morning and she told me this: "I was on vacation all last week and i just go into my office and saw your HSG results" My right tube is open and fine but my left tube, the dye didn't go into. The Dr at the time of my procedure said a lot of times the muscle spasms and won't let the dye in so hopefully that was all that it was. Well my Dr doesn't want my going on any of the injectable drug until she knows for sure if my tube is open, so she is reccomending a laproscopic surgery to check for sure. So she doesn't want to put my under 2 times(which i do agree with) so my surgery has been rescheduled to allow time to do all 3 at the same time. So once again i have to WAIT! I hate waiting, i'm not very patient. As far as i know i am scheduled for 4/30, i know its only 2 weeks away but i was just so excited to do this today and move on!

Friday, April 4, 2008

HSG Test

Well i survived my hsg test today. It was not a fun procedure but thankfully it only hurts for a little while. An hsg is acutally called a Hystosalopinogram, its to check and make sure your fallopian tubes are open and working. Of couse the Dr doing mine was young and cute(how embarassing) but he certainly was not gentle. Basically he rammed the speculum in me so inserting that was actually the 2nd most painful part. Then he rubs iodine on your cervix, this part was no big deal. Up next he puts a clamp on your cervix to keep it still. When he told me he was doing that, i was like what the ****. But it actually only pinched for a quick second, no big deal. Then he tells me i have to move up on the table, i'm like spread eagle with stuff hanging out of me but i managed to do it. Now its time to inject the dye into me. I though i might just take a crap on the table, the cramps were awful. I have never felt anything like this before, if that is what labor feels like, wholly crap! This poor woman up at my head was like breath breath and surprisly breathing helped. But when it was all said and done the cramps were gone and i got the good new that my tubes are open and working!!!

One procedure down and the next one is on the 4/14. Can't wait for that...at least i'll be asleep for it!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Dancin Machine

Here is a little live action of our dancing entertainment! Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Chandra and Eric are here and we are about to play the Wii!

video

Monday night traditions!

This past Monday night was our turn to have the Benko's over for our Monday night tradition. Every Monday night for the past 2 months we have been having dinner together. We rotate between houses and throw a restaurant every now and then. We had a some special entertainment this time...dancing courtesy of Jackie Benko!




Thank god our couch is durable because for most of the night, it was the stage!


She was jamming out to the Arena Rock channel on tv, she really got into the growling.

She even had a dancing partner for awhile, who knew my cats toy was such a great dance partner.


What a cutie, how can you not wanna give her tons of smooches








I had no idea how delicious the dinner i made was...this is a true compliment! It was plate lickin good!



Sunday, March 23, 2008

Flashback!

I know i'm a blog slacker but i really have nothing new to report. I was browsing through old files on my computer looking for something fun to post and i found this. It boggles my mind how fast they grow up and change...this is from last Aug at the beach. Heather i'm sorry for stealing your kids to make my blog cute but i can't think of 2 cuter girls to post!! video

I will have much more to post on my infertility journey in the next few weeks...lots of fun tests and procedures coming up...Lucky me! Happy Easter Everyone!!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Tests and more tests

Well here is the update on whats to come for me. I was just given my RX for my provera so i can't get my period, i will be having whats called and HSG done probably in about 2 weeks. It all depends on the timing of my period. An HSG is a test where dye is injected in me somewhere, i'm thinking my fallopian tubes, we are doing this to make sure my tubes are working correctly before i start the injectables. Then on 4/14 i will be having my polyp surgery, thankfully i'll be put to sleep for this. They tell me its like a D&C, well i never had one but i guess its not suppose to be to bad. After a couple weeks of healing i am allowed to start the injectables. I hate the waiting game, i wanted to start now, i know its only going to put me back about 2 months but when you want a baby bad, 2months is forever!
Once i'm on the injectables(Gonal-F is what its called) i will be giving myself daily injections in my belly. I will also be monitored with ultrasounds every other day and sometimes everyday(thank god for medical ins.). Well, thats all for now, have a good friday!
I just wanted to share with you my gorgeous fur baby Snax the cat...she is 17lbs so her name is quite fitting. I just love this pic because i really think she listened to me when i told her to smile for the camera. Notice her beauty mark, she is quite the Cindy Crawford of cats!


Ski Trip

I don't want this blog to be depressing so i decided to add some pics of our recent ski trip to Sugarbush Vermont.
We went with some good friends of ours, Becca, Jason, Evan and Jeff. Hopefully next year Evan will be ready to hit the bunny hills.

Our first day of skiing the sky was clear and the view from the top was beautiful.


This was Luke's 1st official ski trip and he did awesome. Day 1 was a little frustrating for him but by the 2nd day he was skiing like a pro(no black diamonds though, maybe next year)



Thursday, March 13, 2008

How our story begins

Well i have decided to jump on the band wagon and start a blog. As you can tell from my heading this is not a blog about my children, it is a blog of how i am trying to get my children. I'm hoping this will only be an infertility blog for a very short time period and will eventually morph into a blog of my pregnancy and future babies!



Let me catch you all up to date with whats been going on for the last 6months. I have been offically diagnosed with PCOS(polycyctic ovarian syndrom)http://www.pcosupport.org/medical/whatis.php. Therefore i do not ovulate on my own at all! In order to even get a period it has to been brought on by a wonderful drug called Provera. I take it for 7 days and about 3-5 days after my last pill my period will show up. For the 1st 3 months after my diagnosis i was given a drug called Clomid http://infertility.about.com/cs/clomi1/a/Clomid.htm to induce ovulation. I would take it days 3-7. I have tried 50mgs, 100mgs, and 150mgs...of course nothing worked, no ovulation, therefore no baby! Let me tell you the side effects suck...hot flashes, tired, angry, sad, headaches, not a fun drug!



My cycle with 150mgs was monitor with ultrasounds and just to add one more thing to the mix, at my first ultrasound(internal, oh what fun) they found an endometrial polyp. Don't know much about this yet, i have a Drs appt tomorrow morning to find out whats going to happen. But since the Clomid is obviously not working i am onto the lovely world of injectable fertility drugs.



So that about sums up my story so far...this is an incredible hard thing to go through only those that have been through can understand. We really appericate everyones support and heres to hoping a baby will come soon.