Cautiously Optimistic...

We had another appointment with my favorite baby making Dr today. I absolutely love him, hes amazing. It was our injection lesson and IUI(otherwise know as the "turkey baster" for you fertile folks)consult. Since I have already done the injections before this little lesson was pointless and cost $50. This whole baby making business is insanely expensive. Why can't i get it free like everyone else. Why i can't i go out and get wasted have crazy random sex and end up knocked up, its soo unfair! Just joking Luke i would never go out and do that, even if i was fertile!

So I'm still on my estrogen therapy which is causing me to break out in clusters of zits on my face. Its awesome, its makes me feel so pretty. I am also now using my progesterone suppositories which surprisingly aren't bad at all. I would do those any day, rather then having to supposit things in the other area(i.e. my enema). If all goes according to plan i should start stimulating in about 2.5weeks. Everyday i open my fridge i see my Gonal-F pen calling my name, is it crazy to be so excited about injecting myself in the belly everyday??? I am and i can't help it! So I'm thinking somewhere around Oct 25thish we should be BASTING!!! I tell myself everyday not to get excited about this. I know all to well that this is more likely not to work then to actually work. I also know every other time in the past i have gotten excited it has only led to awful disappointment and crazy hurt from every part of me. But I'm allowed to be excited right? I'm allowed to be "Cautiously Optimistic!"

Post-Op #2

Here is the latest update on operation baby:

This morning i went for my post-op appt to find out all the surgery details i was to groggy to remember. He had plenty of pictures to show me, it was gross yet really quite interesting. I even got to see my liver, appendix and bowel. Anyway here are the details.

He said i had numerous polyps removed. 2 of the polyps had stems on them and were creeping up my tubes. There was a couple spots of endometriosis removed. I had some fibroids in my pelvis area that were removed. I had a cyst removed near my ovaries that was to big to pull through the laproscopic holes so they had to cut it apart first. And my bowel was stuck to my uterus so that was cut away and placed correctly. How crazy is that he said i was either born that way or i could have had some inflammation that led to it. I was like holy sh*t but he assured me he had seen worse. Everything that was removed was benign so that was good. So our next step is a cycle of injectable fertility drugs plus iui's. IUI=Intrauterine insemination. To put it bluntly, I'm being turkey basted with the best of what Luke has to offer. Probably happening mid-late Oct, he basically removed my whole uterine lining so I'm on estrogen to replenish that. Starting 10/1 i begin my progesterone suppositories for 10 days and then wait for my period and begin treatment. I can't wait, I hope it works or we are out $2200 and will have plenty of heartache! But money and heartache won't stop us on this journey. If it doesn't work IVF is next!

Surgery Update #2

Just wanted to give you all a quick update before the vicodin kicks in:

So the surgery lasted 4hrs, my first lap only took 1hr, shows you how hard my previous Dr check things out. I have numerous polyps in my uterus extending into my tubes. So all those were removed and he actually found some mild endometriosis. Even though its mild, he said endo is endo, so all that was removed. As for the uterus septum it was all muscles tissue, no fibrous stuff yea!! I still have to go on some estrogen for 28 days to build my lining up in all the places he had to cut polyps away so i suppose I'm waiting again. Once I'm done with the estrogen he have me use some progesterone suppositories(these sound fun) to bring on my period and then we will start treatment. Unsure what route we're taking we will talk about it next week at our post-op check, i will also find out more details about the surgery.

Oh and this just made me laugh, which made my stomach hurt!

Am I....

Am I scared for my surgery on Thursday, No I'm not. Am I scared of what he is making me do that morning...Yes!

Jalapeno eye and stuff...

So I have acquired an awful and painful medical condition...I like to call it Jalapeno eye! This is how it occurred: It all started when Luke's friend from work gave us a couple of jalapeno peppers he grew in his garden. Tuesday night i decided to make some chicken enchiladas and cut 2 of the peppers up and add it to our dinner. The enchiladas turned out good but they tasted like about 20 fireballs in your mouth. Fast forward 2hrs later and at least 3 hand washings since i cut the peppers up, i go to take my contacts out. Big Mistake! My eyeballs lit on fire, it felt like somebody was holding a match to my eye. I tried splashing water in my eyes, splashing milk in them, flushing them with contact solution. Finally about an hour later the burning subsided. So the next morning i stupidly go to put my contacts in and my jalapeno eye flares up all over again. So here i am 2 days later, still wearing my glasses because my eyes are all swelled and red but are getting much better so hopefully tomorrow I'll be in remission.

Anyway, here are some Labor Day pics:



Here is our goggle patrol...Jackie Benko, Bain Meloy and Paige Blough

She was too cute with her big face mask

We found another lover of sausage dip, little Gwen is just like Mommy. For those who don't know, sausage dip is the most amazing tastiest fattening dip ever!

Its never a party at Lonny's without the jumpy house. It like a free babysitter just lock them in and continue partying!

So Luke almost smiled in this photo


And i couldn't resist posting a pic of the most sexiest cat ever. Heather don't you just wanna smoosh you face in her belly!

My good/bad update!

Well i had my 5hr appt today with my new reproductive endocrinologist.

First off, i love my new Dr, he was great and is much more aggressive. I had been warned that he is the best Dr in the area but his bedside manner sucked. Well i thought he was wonderful and he has a great personality. I firmly believe if anyone is going to get me pregnant it will be him or it just won't be possible to get me pregnant.



So here is the bad news. I need to have my lap surgery done all over again. He thinks that my polyp was never completely removed and my uterus seems to have something called a septum in it. If the septum is made of muscle that's good no problems but if its fibrous material, it needs to be surgically removed. It is a correctable problem and it won't reoccur. The only way to find out is by doing another lap. Which will cost us $750 since only part of it will be covered. My Dr did however feel bad that i just had it done so the 750 is a discounted rate.


So i go in for some blood work on Tues, just some basic stuff. They will check all my hormone levels, my thyroid and also if i have any insulin problems. After that comes back i will be put on birth control pills and stay on them without taking the placebo pills therefore stopping me from getting a period(not that i get one anyway) Then both me and Luke have to go on Doxycyclene to make sure we aren't carrying any bacteria "down there". Then Luke has to have a sperm culture done(he's so excited) and my culture will be done while in surgery. Surgery is scheduled for 9/11, thank god there was a cancellation otherwise I'd be waiting till Nov. If during surgery he finds out my uterine septum is fibrous he will cut out that fibrous material and i will be put on estrogen for a couple months while it heals. If my uterus is ok, after my post-op check i will be placed on Metaformin. Even if I'm not insulin resistant they say going on this drug actually helps pcos women ovulate on their own. Then from there we will talk about our next step, whether its another injectable cycle with or without IUI or if we want to go straight to IVF. We found out a lot of the ultrasounds i will need while on my injectable cycle will not be covered this time. So depending on the cost of that we might just scrap that idea and go right to IVF, that's still to be determined.



So i guess this scraps the new siding and things we have been wanted to do to the house. We are obviously going to blow through all our savings and extra money trying to get a baby. If it happens all this money and effort will have been well worth it. I feel like i need to start fundraising for myself...anyone wanna buy a candy bar?? Just kidding, i gotta laugh and joke or i might break down and cry!


So once again I'm waiting, ugh! Why why me, i don't get it. I swear, i'm a good person!

Can We...

Please stop using plastic bags! Awhile back i bought some canvas bags at Giant and I love them. They were only 99cents and hold way more than a normal plastic grocery bag. Here is why i feel so strongly about using them: http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080506/MULTIMEDIA02/80505016